You are mine

Riley Elizabeth,

You are mine. Everyday I stare into your beautiful, yet to commit to a color but looking like your headed towards brown, eyes I am amazed that you are mine. I adore you and could spend all day watching your every move...and sometimes I probably spend too much of my day doing just that. But I hear time is short. That you will grow so fast. And I am already beginning to see that. You seem so big already and you are just 11 weeks old.

I can't believe that 12 weeks ago I didn't know you were Riley. I didn't know you would have the cutest chubby cheeks and crazy long fingers. I didn't know that you would have hair like me and your daddy's chin (minus the hair). Life has felt like a whirlwind with all that we have had going on but you in it feels so normal already.

I delight in the smallest things you do. How you have started kicking your legs more and more. And how you pull your arms in and smile with a big open mouth when you are overwhelmed by the craziness of my faces.

And I begin to think that that is just a tiny taste of how the Lord looks at us. I am reminded that he delights in me. That he looks upon me with joy the way I look at you. That even though I am sinful and broken he loves me so deeply and he calls me his. He wraps me in his arms like I do you and sings over me. He is my protector, my comforter, my savior, my lover, and my friend.

Your daddy and I pray everyday that you would be His. That he would call you to himself and that you would fall in love with him. And I pray everyday that I would respond to his love for me the way that you respond to my love for you. That I would relax in his arms and turn to his voice and be comforted by his presence. That I would trust him completely for my every need and delight in his goodness.

I love you Riley. And I love that you are mine.

-Mommy

Matthew: Gift of God

The name Matthew means Gift of God. And God gave me a good and precious gift when he brought Matthew into my life. Our relationship was on a fast track that I would probably never have recommended to anyone else but God definitely planned our steps perfectly. I can't believe that we have been married over 3 years and now have a beautiful daughter together.

I am incredibly guilty of under appreciating my husband for the incredible man he is so I thought I would share some of the things that make me so grateful for him.

His selfless and thoughtful heart

Matthew is always deeply aware of how any tiny thing he does (or we do) will affect others. He is mindful of not putting other people out and is also aware of how we can be a blessing to others.

His patience

I do a good job of regularly making us run into the same issue over and over again. I can be very selfish, communicate very poorly, be very manipulative, and on top of all that stay very stubborn. I will pick a fight, be mad that it isnm't beling resolved, refuse to let him off the hook but also refuse to speak to him. And still he loves me and as frustrated as I can make him, he stands by me and gives me grace.

He laughs with me

It is so easy to be joyful around Matthew. I tend to be pretty easily amused and I think that event though he may think what I am laughing at is slightly ridiculous he finds joy in my delight.

He laughs at me

This could come across wrong but usually it is when I am welcoming the laughter. Or there are the times when I may do something like get confused and think that the Wild Basin Preserve off 360 in Austin is actually a Wild Bison Preserve (because it translated incorrectly in my head for 3 years!) and ask him if Austin really has Basin (in my head picturing a Bison). And although he may correct me and laugh at me he doesn't make me fell TOO ridiculously stupid in that moment.

He steps outside himself

He lets fo of the things that are hard for him or go against his nature in order to love me. Mostly this means his logic...because he is very logical... and me...not so much. There are a lot of things that require him to put that aside in order to love me. For instance, I LOVE HAVING A REAL CHRISTMAS TREE. I think a fake Christmas tree= a fake Christmas (no offense!). But they cost money every year and are a lot more work. Matthew would much rather make the investment and pull it out of a box every year and be done with it. They are a lot of work and he does most of it. But he still does it. And he puts up with me when I don't keep it watered well and end up killing it (or whatever you would say since I guess it is actually already dead) and then I sit on the phone with Home Depot convincing them to replace it for free. When the agree Matthew helps me undecorate the old one, load it in the truck, drives to Home Depot to exchange it for a new one, helps pick out the new one, loads it up, carries it to our 3rd floor apartment, sets it up in the base AND helps me redecorate it. He does a lot that would be illogical, ridiculous, and JUST PLAIN SILLY in his mind. But he does it because he loves me.... and I can tend to be illogical, ridiculous, and just plain silly! :)

His pursuit of Christ

Matthew is quick to admit his imperfections. He confesses that he is sinful. But he looks to Christ to sustain him and to forgive him. He strives to be more like Christ and to push me to do the same. He has learned and grown so much since I have met him. He has learned to lead our family well.

His love for Riley

Through my whole pregnancy Matthew had so much excitement about becoming a father. And one of the best parts of the day Riley was born was seeing the look on his face while he looked at her. He rarely leaves for work without taking a moment to hold her and talk for her. And he is quick to do the same when he gets home. He helps with her bedtime routine every night he is home and prays for her before we put her to bed. He delights in her and adores her and it is the most beautiful thing to see.

He is pretty freaking hot

...but I don't think you want to read a description about that! :)

I'm a Mom!

So my blog is in desperate need of an update! We are overjoyed by the newest addition to our family so I will try to do a better job of updating to keep everyone updated on her life. I also am working on writing out her birth story because it is so precious to me and I don't want to forget any of it. I will share that on her once it is complete.

But for now meet Riley Elizabeth Moore. She was born Tuesday, May 3, 2011 at 11:27am. She weighed 7lbs, 2oz and was 21.5in long. And I am absolutely in love with her!

My Marriage

This weekend we are celebrating our anniversary. We both have mixed feelings. We both feel partly amazed that it has already been two years and also part of us feels like it has been much longer. As we reflect on our marriage we think a lot about how by God's grace and love we were brought together and how his grace and love is what continues to strengthen and unite our marriage. We have had some incredible conversations and also some incredibly silly conversations this weekend. I have so much joy when I think about the gift that Matthew is in my life and am excited for what is to come.

I feel like the last 6 months have been a huge turning point in our marriage on my end. I think that we are regularly taught that another person cannot meet our needs and we must look to God to fulfill our needs...etc. And I would have said that I got that, no problem, prior to being married. It has been so easy to look at Matthew, this physical man right in front of me that I spend more time with then anyone else, as the one who will meet all my needs. I have made the mistake far too often in our marriage of having unhealthy expectations of him and all this does is set me up for hurt, disappointment, bitterness and it breaks the bond of unity in our marriage. It is definitely not about the three of us (God, Matthew, and Myself) and it is hardly even about the two of us (Matthew and me) because all I am focusing on is myself.

God did a wonderful work in my heart in the last 6 months. He showed me how he beautifully created me to have needs that only he could fulfill to draw me into an intimate relationship with the only one who could love me perfectly, himself. He showed me more and more how Matthew is to be a picture, a representation, and a foreshadow of my relationship with Him. Over the last two years I have heard time and time again about the importance of our marriage. It is an incredible opportunity to be a picture to the world of how much Christ loves His Bride, the church. I have felt the weight of this responsibility and tried and tried to live that out. In this work that God has been doing he showed me that while my marriage can have an incredible eternal impact it, in and of itself, is not eternal. When Jesus takes me home I will no longer be Matthew's wife and he will no longer be my husband. Our marriage will not enter into eternity because when we enter into eternity we will be entering into a marriage with the creator of the universe.

The Lord gave me a parallel that has helped made this make sense to me. Money. God has purpose in our money. He desires every cent we are blessed with to be used for his glory. Whatever we do, we are to do it to the glory of God. He provides for us and gives us the ability to give to and provide for others. He can feed starving babies in Haiti, send his people to Africa to share his gospel, and help build buildings for people to gather to worship his name and learn from his word all through our finances. When we surrender our finances to the Lord they can be used to have an incredible, eternal impact. But our money itself is not eternal. And if we put our hope in it and find our identity in it then when the end comes, we will be left with nothing.

I wish this lesson would have come sooner. I wish I could have posted this blog 2 years ago, just a couple days before my wedding so that when I became Matthew's wife I would have not weighed him down with unrealistic, unhealthy expectations. But I know that the Lord has His purposes in me learning this lesson now. I know that it is so much deeper set in my heart because I can look back over the last two years and see how so many struggles we had were caused because I was looking to Matthew instead of to Christ to satisfy me.

The last couple of months have been amazing. It has nothing to do with me or what I have done. The Lord has done a work in my heart and I can see how it has incredibly impacted our marriage. I am excited to see where the Lord is taking us and what lessons are to come as we walk out in year 3. This is truly an amazing adventure. It has incredible challenges and amazing rewards and I know the Lord is just getting started! So here we go!

Merry Christmas to Sarah and Doug

My wonderful big sister and brother-in-law live a busy life. Raising 2 kids and working hard serving their church leaves little time for them to go out on date nights and enjoy time just the 2 of them.

So, for Christmas, my mom, Matthew and I decided the best thing to do would be to make this possible by giving them money to spend and offering to watch the kiddos for the day.

To explain to them all the details of their gift I decided to write a poem for them. In about 5-10 minutes my mom and I knocked this out. I was proud of how well we did so thought I would share it with all (5) of my blog readers as a ponder a future career as a poet.

Enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twas the night before Christmas when throughout their home
Kyler kept screaming and Matthew did roam.
Doug and Sarah tried but slept not a wink.
Their bodies were tired and their love life did stink.
When what to their wondering eye should appear
but a sweet little sister and mommy dear.
With gift cards and money and offers to sit
We'll deal with Matthew when he throws a fit.
Enjoy a great date and stay overnight
Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight.

15 point challenge to women.

I am taking a class at church right now called Identify. It has been AMAZING. There is so much I could share about what I have learned... and maybe I will get there one day. But saying that this is my attempt at blogging twice in 1 week as apposed to twice in 6 months... I will start small.

They gave us an article to read that is a 15 point challenge to women by John Piper. A lot of the points stuck out to me... here are some of them.

• That the promises of life be trusted so fully that peace and joy and strength fill your soul to overflowing.
  
• That this fullness of God overflow in daily acts of love so that people might see your good deeds and give glory to your Father in Heaven.
• That you be women of the Book, who love and study and obey the Bible in every area of its teaching; that meditation on Biblical truth be the source of hope and faith; that you continue to grow in understanding through all the chapters of your life, never thinking that study and growth are only for others.
• That you be women of prayer, so that the word of God will be opened to you, and so the power of faith and holiness will descend upon you; that your spiritual influence may increase at home and at church and in the world.
  
• That you be women who have a deep grasp of the sovereign grace of God which under-girds all the spiritual processes; and that you be deep thinkers about the doctrines of grace, and even deeper lovers about these things.
  
• That you be totally committed to ministry, whatever your specific calling; that you not fritter away your time on soaps or women's magazines or unimportant hobbies or shopping; that you redeem time for Christ and his Kingdom.
  
• That, if you are married, you creatively and intelligently and sincerely support the leadership of your husband as deeply as obedience to Christ will allow; that you encourage him in his God-appointed role as head; that you influence him spiritually primarily through your fearless tranquility and holiness and prayer.
  
• That you not assume that secular employment is a greater challenge or a better use of your life than the countless opportunities of service and witness in the home, the neighborhood, the community, the church and the world; that you not only pose the question: career or full-time homemaker?, but that you ask just as seriously: fulltime career or freedom for ministry. That you ask: Which would be greater for the kingdom- to work for someone who tells you what to do to make his or her business prosper, or to be God's free agent dreaming your own dreams about how your time and your home and your creativity could make God's business prosper? And that in all this you make your choices not on the basis of secular trends or upward lifestyle expectations, but on the basis of what will strengthen the faith of the family and advance the cause of Christ.
  
• That you step back and (with your husband, if you are married) plan the various forms of your life's ministry chapters. Chapters are divided by carious things- age, strength, singleness, marriage, employment, children at home, children in college, grandchildren, retirement, etc. No chapter has all the joys. Finite life is a series of tradeoffs. Finding God's will, and living for the glory of Christ to the full in every chapter is what makes it a success, not whether it reads like somebody else's chapter or whether it has in it what only another chapter will bring.
  
• That you develop a wartime mentality and lifestyle; that you never forget that life is short and billions of people hang in the balance of heaven and hell every day, that the love of money is spiritual suicide, that the goals of upward mobility (nicer clothes, cars, houses, vacations, foods hobbies) are a poor and dangerous substitute for the goals of living for Christ with all your might and maximizing your joy in ministry to people's needs.
  

My Little Family

Photo shoot in the pumpkin patch with the Drinkas.

New things in my life:

1. Blentec Total Blender

Matthew and I have been wanting this amazing piece of machinery. And thanks to our Costco membership we found it for a good price. Let the blending madness begin!

2. Bangs

I have been growing my hair out for awhile now and want to keep it long but did not want it to be boring so I decided to go for bangs. I haven't had straight across bangs since I was 7 and was always a little hesitant to get them but with some encouragement from a good friend I decided to go for it. My forehead tickles and they will take some getting used to but so far the response has been good. What do you think?

3. The Last Lecture

My dad and I are going to read this book together. I have heard good things about it and am excited to bond with my dad as we discuss it with each other. 1st step: Get myself to Barnes and Noble to buy a copy!

4. Work Hours Cut

I just found out this week that my hours at work are being cut. Matthew and I are now having to do some serious talking and praying to figure things out. I feel stuck between 2 thoughts. The first thought is that I absolutely love my job. I love the people I work for and the people I get to serve and minister to through my job. I have learned and grown so much through this position and have become a part of the family I work for.

On the other hand, I have never felt a calling to pursue a career. Matthew and I have felt that I need to work as much and as hard as possible in this season to prepare for the future. The future being to start a family and for me to be home with our kiddos. Losing these hours is going to greatly effect our ability to prepare for the future as we feel like we need to at this time.

5. Katie Myers

Since I got married having close relationships with other women has been a struggle. I have been desiring a best friend for quite awhile now. Katie is my new and old best friend. We were super close in high school but lost touch after graduation. After we moved to Austin I reconnected with her. Katie got married just after we did and lives in Austin. Over the last year and a half we have been able to pick things back up and I have truly enjoyed her friendship. I realized in the last month that God is providing an incredible relationship for me through Katie and I was challenged to pursue her more. We have been hearing all about biblical community at church and I felt a challenge to live that out specifically in my relationship with her.

I think I have always been afraid to pursue relationships because I feared that I would be rejected, or they would not desire the same depth of friendship. I am learning there is risk because people aren't perfect and we will let each other down. But in choosing to pursue this friendship I have gained incredible encouragement and accountability and someone who will share in my joys and my struggles.

6. Babies (I AM NOT PREGNANT AND WE AREN'T TRYING!)

My desire to be a mom is bubbling up within me.